I took a break from boxes/skeles last night. I had a pretty good vibe from this session, but an absolutely horrible vibe the night before. I'm recovering from my "foul mood" from earlier, I guess these things come and go.
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I'm in a foul mood tonight. Maybe doing some scribbles will help, but for now I just want to roll over and sleep forever.
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I hated my boxes yesterday night, maybe it's the female-ness of the model, it's harder to see where the pelvis is on her than on a male model. But the second section was really fun! She dressed up as a pirate and did some pirate-y poses.
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Remember how I said you're never seeing my boxes drawings? well, I lied! gyahahaha! I have no scribbly today and I actually liked some of the stuff I did at tonight's session. I still have a long way to go when it comes to boxes and skeletons. (ps: thanks Matt for your help! =p you're my official pelvis checker hahaha)
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I only had time to do 30 mins of life drawing today, I did a lot of boxes and attempted skeles but you're never seeing those! cuz they look horrible! lol, this is the only drawing I was okay with. I need to go life drawing everyday again, I've been missing it a lot lately and I'm started to feel deprovement.
More scribbly faces. It's funny how the more I'm supposed to push my drawings and caricature faces, the more I doodle random anime drawings on the side. I'm working on the pushing, but it's like there's this mechanism that's rebelling against the push by pulling (aka. drawing formulaic, generic anime stuffs) Well, at least I'm drawing. That's all that matters.
This scribbly is dedicated to Fai.
Tsubasa Chronicles: Tokyo Revelations OVA 1 is out! my goodness that was quick! It was sooo good T___T but definitely too short for another 2-3 month's wait.
song: Maaya Sakamoto - Last Fruit
It's a beautiful song, and here are some of my fav. lines (translated by shinsen-subs, wonderful people who put out this ep so quickly)
nee boku wa, boku wa, shiritai
aisurutte donna koto,
kimi ga hohoemu to sekai wa sukoshi furuete kagayaita,
maru de kokyuu suru you ni ugokidashita,
nee boku wa boku wa shiritai,
ikitekutte donna koto...
I want to know, I want to know,
what it's like to be loved,
when you smile, the world gently shakes and glimmers
just as though it were breathing, it started moving.
I want to know, I want to know,
what it's like to live...
song: Glay - Soul Love
...procrastinating on my character design assignment =( I got some very good feedback from Jim Graves this week, and ways I can "push" my designs. The problem is just getting into the flow...it's still difficult for me to keep it simple and explore shapes, but at least I have a start now, and hopefully I can keep building on it.
L: Change the World
http://wwws.warnerbros.co.jp/L-movie/
A new movie coming out covering the last 23 days of L's life (set right before the end of the second Death Note movie.) It may be a spin-off of the manga, but I love L enough to be excited about this *_*
<3 Also:
*Arcade Tekken* Arcade Soul Calibur II* lifedrawing the skeleton* Gottfried Bammes* chinese desserts*
I usually get home pretty late from school. I don't get any homework done at home, instead I would loiter on the net for an hour or so before going to bed. I want to take some time to do quick sketches (more like scribbles based on the feelings invoked by any particular song I have on my playlist) before I sleep. Hopefully this can be my first step towards doing some personal art again. 
song: Colbie Caillat - Realize
Alexander McQueen
Brilliant! His collections are so beautiful I want to cry. These small images don't do them justice. I -really- want that hooded read top on the bottom right!
Also:
*dolce and gabana*ferrero rocher*massages*beautiful masks*wet wipes*text messaging*
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And some very rough progress sketches (for character design class) to end the day:
We have to design 6 archetypal characters, the above are "superhero" and "dracula." I've been having a lot of trouble "pushing it" - as my teacher likes to put it. I am so used to drawing realistically and anime that it's become an obstacle I need to get over.
Sooo much fun! I haven't experienced that level of joy and motion and concentration in a while. Those 12 hours were totally worth the fatigue and pain that came after. My way of drawing and thinking slowly changed and progressed. Towards the end I was learning to be more confident with my lines, keeping my drawings cleaner and clearer, instead of the mess I was used to. I was also seeing the figure in overlapping shapes and forms for a bit, which really helped with the clean lines.
I also never realise how hard I hold my conte till I came away from the marathon with a blister on my middle finger. Even now both my index and middle fingers are bleeding slightly at the nail. =S I'm waiting for it to heal, meanwhile the life drawing session this evening was slightly uncomfortable. Maybe I should try drawing with my left hand.
If life is World of Warcraft I would say that the marathon was a power-leveling experience, and I am a fool not to have gone to life drawing on monday, because it was like I had a mage and priest buff me up to like STRENGTH +1000, but those buffs wore out and now I'm back to a normal, average mode. Damn I miss WoW.
Anyway, here are some drawings from the that night. =) After this I am planning to spend the next couple of weeks on skeletons and boxes, so you'll all get a break from the naked people, and maybe I will replace them with naked animals and naked furnitures instead. Change is good.
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So many out side influences. It's hard to stand on my own two feet and remember what I'm doing. Why do I spend 6 out of 7 days a week working in the studio? why am I studying? analyzing? redoing and redoing? Why am I so slow at grasping concepts?
I am not a passionate individual who can give up all and improve quickly through crazy devotion and hard work. Yet, sometimes I feel like that's the only way if I ever want to excel. I get discouraged and scared when I see others who seem to be doing so well on that path. I want to find my own way. I think I work hard too, and I love art, but not in the same crazy way. Is that wrong? Is it wrong that I like sleep so much? haha. I want to be able to balance all aspects of my life, and absorb more than what is immediately in front of me. I believe in breadth of knowledge over tunnel-vision/single-mindedness, the latter may work for some people, but for me it will only make me forget my purpose.
I must not compare myself to others, only to my past self. That's the only way I can avoid unnecessary jealousy and distress.
I have no had time to do any art that is personal and meaningful to me (beside some life drawing) I just hope all of this learning is actually sinking in, and that everything will click eventually. That's the thing I have to hold on to: it may not make sense now, but it will later. I really hope I am moving forward with this, and not stuck without realizing it.
Bruce Lee has a lot of inspiring quotes, I see them everywhere, and they always strike a chord inside of me.
I want to "be like water" I want to become what is being taught to me, and then change and become the next material. I want to be able to absorb, and then chose my form. I have to learn and accept failure, allow myself to suck thoroughly, before I can even think of becoming amazing. Some people follow a linear path to success, maybe I am one of those people who need to meander through the map of life, going in and overlapping circles and triangles before I reach my goal.
I also have to remember, no matter what, I am doing this to tell a story, or stories. Everything I'm doing now, I am doing to bring life to the stories in my head. These are tools I need to learn and become a part of, but these tools should not bring me down and tear me apart.
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On another note: I don't think anyone should ever depend on someone else to make them happy. You create your own happiness, and you share them with others instead of drawing it from them. Crushes and relationships are so dangerous sometimes, as insecurity, self-confidence, doubts, anxiety, etc. come into play, and if done wrong, our happiness becomes dependent on the other person. Having said that, it's so hard to escape from it all the same. Maybe we're all just masochists.
What a bleh week! my proportions have been really whack, and I miss that feeling of rightness I had last week. I think I've been going into life drawing and school with a lot on my mind, and maybe that affects my performance. This will be my last post before the 12-hour life drawing marathon at OCAD! I'm gonna do my best to go to that (which means I have to finish my pink panther walk cycle today >_<) If I remember, I'll upload some non life drawing school assignments I have done since week 1. I can't think of anything I actually like yet, but I'm sure ppl are tired of my naked ppl posts. XD
I need to work on: proportions, structure, joints, balance.
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