A general life update, thoughts, and art. (not proofread and possibly scattered. apologies in advance. ^^)
A few points I have come to consider recently:
1) Attitude towards school - First off, I have to say that I'm enjoying my new program immensely, and it's been fun and more motivational than my previous one. Having said that, I still could not help but be plagued by some of the common feelings that have come to me (and probably any student in uni or college) in the past. As a student, we have this habit of worrying about our marks. I see this attitude a lot in classrooms, where students will be very concerned about marks, as though the goal of an assignment is to rake in as high of a score as possible. Yet, at the same time, some of them also want to take the easiest way to finish said assignment. It's not wrong to want a higher score, but in an art program there are a couple of factors to consider; one: the teacher can never be completely objective when marking your artwork, as art has no set answer or interpretation, unless the score is based upon technique alone. And two: WHY are you in the program? I think that more important than a score, it is what you take out of each assignment that will matter in the long run. Are you there to learn? or are you there to get the piece of paper called a degree/diploma? In some professions the latter is fine and sometimes even necessary as the program is merely a bridge to their desired careers. ex. they are guaranteed a job as long as they finish their degree. But as an artist, if we want the easy way out and don't have the attitude that we want to learn, we will not be successful. This is not a program that should be driven upon GPA. I think this idea have been reinforced several times by our instructors, and I agree with it 100%. (I tend not to worry too much about my marks as long as I pass and I learn as much as I can out of my assignments. The one thing that has me worried though is OSAP, since they require my GPA to be above a certain point in order for them to continue giving me money for school. >_<)
The second thing is the this: as an artist, we are competitive and always compare ourselves to our peers. I caught myself doing this a few times over the past couple of weeks. I would peer at my classmate's work and think things like: he's so much better. I should have done things this way, etc. And I was a little put off when one of my drawings was in the redo pile (albeit the majority of the class was in that pile) instead of the few individuals who have done the assignment satisfactorily. Then I started to understand once again, why I was in the program. Who am I trying to impress? I am there as a beginner, and yet here I am trying to prove myself to be as superior as possible. What useless pride! There is absolutely no need to prove anything right now. I have 3 years ahead of me to get better, and then a lifetime after that to continue my learning. I have confidence in myself, and that is a very important thing, but the fact that my confidence was so easily swayed by comparing myself to others shows that I need to change my attitude. Instead of focusing on what other people are doing, I should compare myself to myself. I should build solid confidence in my own skill based on my improvements and what I have learn instead of comparing apples and oranges. Personally, I am prone to these little anxiety attacks where I get depressed and think I'm no good and the world is going to end, etc. Luckily, the vibe in my program is quite warm and positive, with very little open competitiveness. Hopefully within this environment I will be able to stop looking at other people and concentrate on my own progress. And then be happy. haha.
2) People need to think for themselves. Not think for themselves as in self-centered thinking, but simply THINK. Stop following what other people are doing, and stop adopting other people's opinions as your own without even thinking. I actually wrote half a blog entry on this, but it was getting too long and rant-y so I've decided to condense it as my frustration have passed for now:
The idea that we live in a society of the brainwashed and soulless blindly following the latest trend is not something new. Some of us see this fact more clearly than others, but we are all guilty of it. How can we help it? we're creatures of community; we were made for companionship and not solitude, and we all want to be viewed as part of "flock." That's why we get suckered so easily into consumerism, companies know this, and they exploit our need for acceptance and fear of being viewed as different. Of course, I'm not saying that every single purchase we make is due to the fact that we want to fit in, but all the purchases that are -unnecessary- and usually take up the most expensive of our budget, may be somehow linked to that psychology. But more about consumerism at a later date (once I get started on that the entry will probably triple in length.)
People like to take the easy way out - it's easier to simply copy someone's actions than to come up with one's own, just as it's easier to adopt a way of thinking than to think about issues ourselves. For example, the other day we were in class handing in an assignment, and one of the students asked me what I'd labeled on the envelope to hand in. Now this may seen very silly of me to bring up, and it's really not a big deal, but at that point I thought: it's a label, it stands to reason that you would put your name, class code, and nature of assignment on it. Heck, you can put anything you want! it's not. that. difficult. There is not even a "wrong" answer! Why would you need to copy what someone else is doing? Now I'm not condemning anyone for doing that, as I have on several occasion done the exact same thing, but it's just an example of how we are so used to following other people. And how lazy we are not to just think for an extra 5 seconds!
I realise now that that was a very extreme example, but in my irritation, the incident had stuck out to me as a microscopic view of the larger problem.
3) The middle path is good. I believe in balance. I find that most of our health issues are caused by the lack of it: too much of one thing and too little of another. ex. in our culture of buffets and all you can eat sushi's, shopping sprees and mass emails, we have forgotten how to appreciate the ones which makes up the sum. Long ago, we would be ecstatic to own one pair of new shoes or a pretty dress, now it's simply one of the many items fallen out of its shopping bag and scattered across our unmade beds. Once upon a time, I would have loved and cherished a handwritten letter, but now such things are nearly extinct. This year I want to start putting things into perspective and cut back on my excesses, while making more of an effort to be healthy, mellow and more aware of the things around me.
I actually started thinking about this as I considered the sheer amount of sushi I can consume at my favourite all you can eat sushi restaurant, and how I have eaten so much so quickly that I never stop to savor and appreciate that single piece of spicy salmon maki that should have been so heavenly (but is now reduced to just one of the many pieces of maki that's gone through my system in record time.) I'm not a pig, I swear! I just really like sushi, but I think from now on....no more AYCE! I will only order a roll and pay the full price for it, and savor every last bite.
Art-wise, I spent all of the past Saturday developing an idea for a project/experiment I want to do, taking into account the fact that from now on I only have about one day a week to do non-school stuff. I've started tons of these before so I have no idea if it'll go anywhere, but I'll keep you guys posted if something does come out of it! =)
